urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:coffee_2_sugars all things a little different coffee_2_sugars 2009-04-29T16:51:04Z urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:coffee_2_sugars:7333 2009-04-29T16:51:04Z 2009-04-29T16:51:04Z <p>this is my little bundle of joy:</p><p>&nbsp;</p><p><img src="http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v492/darklillith/baby.jpg" alt="" /></p> urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:coffee_2_sugars:6760 2009-04-02T13:25:56Z 2009-04-02T13:25:56Z <p>this one is about how im incubating a person.</p><p>11 weeks.. will keep u posted with more details</p> urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:coffee_2_sugars:6546 2008-09-03T19:39:49Z 2008-09-03T19:39:49Z <p>except for the sounds of a meowing cat..&nbsp; damn cat</p> urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:coffee_2_sugars:2418 2007-12-01T05:06:37Z 2007-12-01T05:06:37Z 1.do you shave?:<br />I like to shave the nipples off Rodeo Clowns, then sneak them in your breakfast cereal.. I kidnap them dontcha know?<br /><br />2.what do you shave?:<br />everything but a luxurious handlebar moustache.. sometimes I have lurid fantasies about penguins..<br /><br />3.why?:<br />I was a lebanese proctologist in another lifetime..<br /><br />4.what colour is your razor?:<br />my razor neither possesses colour, nor physical form, it can split coconuts using nothing but the power of it's mind. I call it Jebus.. it tells me to kill people using only my pinky toe.. I have yet to succeed in my mission.<br /><br />5.what size is your bed?:<br />how big is your toilet? what is the colour of allergy?<br /><br />6.do you like it?:<br />sometimes I like to lick it..<br /><br />7.you're going on a date for a walk around the lake then a coffee at a cafe. what do you wear FROM your closet?<br />I wear the entire closet, on my head.. oh, and did I mention I'm naked and also on fire? I can yodel in six languages underwater.. sometimes I smell like peppermint.<br /><br />8.Would you go naked in a bathtub with a naked old man/woman with each of you having a bar of soap and soap each other till the bars of soap run out for a million dollars?<br />oooooooh baby!<br /><br />9.if you woke up one morning and found out you were going to stay in the body you have now for the rest of your life, what would you think?<br />fuck damn am I a sexy bitch!<br /><br />10. letter or e-mail?<br />hamsters shot out of tennis ball cannons.<br /><br />11.if world war III broke out, what would you say?<br />does this make my arse look huge?<br /><br />12.buttons or boxes?<br />what'ever I can use to fit your head in, and refrigerate.<br /><br />13.which 5 people do you trust and are open with the most?<br />all 5 personalities that fight for dominance in my head.<br /><br />14.what's something a guy/girl will wear that'll turn you off?<br />clothes<br /><br />15. what's something a guy/girl will wear that'll turn you on?<br />a pulse<br /><br />16. what do you think of soulmates?<br />I like to pour gasoline on them<br /><br />17.florida or cali?<br />both would look great flattened..<br /><br />18.is the world screwed?<br />only if I own the screwdriver.<br /><br />19.is cussing a neccesity in life?<br />FUCK NO, I'm entirely all too insulted by this question.. and would have more to say about it if I didn't inadvertantly piss on your rose bush.. weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!<br /><br />20.what's an object you can't live without?<br />my reverse-cycle-ginklefudgelator.. it speaks to my soul.<br /><br />21.can you live without the microwave?<br />I'd much prefer that, than living inside of one.<br /><br />22.You have this uh, erotic dream about your friend of the opp. sex. how do you act and feel around that friend the next day?<br />I bring a hamster, 30ft of rubber tubing, a car battery, some jumper leads, a waffle iron... wait, what was the question again?<br /><br />23.would you rather be rich with 15 spoiled brats or just barely making it with a dog?<br />why would I ever have sex with the dog.. and even worse, badly?<br /><br />24. how's your schoolwork for you right now?<br />I killed everyone at my old school just so I could avoid answering such a question.<br /><br />25.what's something someone's done to make you hold a grudge against them?<br />they invaded Poland, that somewhat annoyed me.. as they beat me too it.. and even worse, they stole all the avocado, cheese dip and cheap vodka.<br /><br />26.Favorite weather?<br />lightly swarming with killer bees.<br /><br />27.what's one look trait that attracts you to a guy/girl?<br />a pulse.. ability to handle hamsters.<br /><br />28.what's one personality trait that attracts you to a guy/girl?<br />being able to speak 12 languages simultaneously whilst gargling peanut butter.<br /><br />29.do you know what 143 means?<br />no, and I shall torture you just long enough with this badly sung rendition of WHAM's "wake me up before you go go" till you explain it to me.. oh, and did I mention I'd be singing that in badly articulated Vietnamese?<br /><br />30.who's phone number are you hoping to get?<br />Chuck Norris.<br /><br />31.describe melancholy, if you don't know, then skip this question.<br />describe entropy.<br /><br />32.describe mellow-<br />describe ennui.<br /><br />33.do you beleive in ghosts? why or why not?<br />I am a figment of your imagination.. I'm also living in your fridge and pooping into the jar of mayonaise.<br /><br />34.what time did you sleep last night?<br />sleep? SLEEP!? BWAAHAHHAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!<br /><br />35.which guy/girl do you wish to be with RIGHT now?<br />all of them.. at once.. with a cheese grater.<br /><br />36.is it right to flirt if you have a bf/gf?<br />FUCK NO!<br /><br />37.would you rather be married in venice, italy, or honolulu, hawaii?<br />the dark side of the moon.. in my underpants.<br /><br />38.would you rather eat sandwiches or pasta for the rest of your life?<br />your mom.<br /><br />39.(guys) how would you feel if you gave a girl a flower?<br />(girls) how would you feel if you got a flower from a guy?<br />I would give birth to a live duck. I would call it Jeffrey.<br /><br />40.do you want to drop school?<br />drop what at school? one of my organs? an egg? a grand piano from a 2nd story window? fuckit.. why not all the above!<br /><br />41.what do you think of the word, "no pain, no gain" ?<br />it makes me wanna fart.<br /><br />42.what do you think of the quote "eyes are the passageways into the soul" ?<br />I imagine an asteroid hitting your house. I also imagine a mini golf course made entirely of string cheese.<br /><br />43.What do you think of sleep?<br />I'll do it when I'm dead.<br /><br />44.if you had the chance to slow down your growth now and live to 500 years but it's like a 50 year old body by then, would you go for it?<br />my growth? what, you mean my john todger? what kinda freaking bizarre question is that?<br /><br />45.at one point in a girl/guy friendship will one them them like each other even if it's only for a little bit. true or false?<br />I like mayonaise.. and chickens.. sometimes both.. in a bathtub.<br /><br />46.Are you a procrastinator?<br />no, god says that's bad and when I do it, a kitten dies.<br /><br />47.waffles or pancakes?<br />a piano accordian.<br /><br />48.how's your cereal in your bowl?<br />defaecated on by midgets.<br /><br />49.what's an annoying trait about you?<br />I refuse to fill out surveys like a normal person.<br /><br />50.football or rugby?<br />badmington<br /><br />51. hat or visor?<br />pithe helmet and flippers.<br /><br />52.ice skating or rollerblading?<br />nude crochet, with your grandmother.<br /><br />53.(guys) your gf has long beautiful hair which you love, she comes to school the next day with a short crop cut. what do you HONESTLY think?<br />(girls) your bf has hair you love. he comes to school the next day with a shiny head. what do you HONESTLY think?<br />see question 1.<br /><br />54.pizza or burgers?<br />fish heads.<br /><br />55.what colour is your jacket?<br />white.. and quite possibly of the straight variety.<br /><br />56.what's something you ALWAYS have on you?<br />the ability to consider 99% of reality a bullshit construct of the subconscious.<br /><br />57.what do you think of guys with nailpolishes?<br />I don't think.. they just make nice landfill.<br /><br />58.do you stay in bed thinking or do you fall alseep in 5 seconds?<br />I plot numerous ways to destroy the world. I'm also particularly fond of bacon.<br /><br />59.would you rather go to a boarding school, private school, or an all girls or guys school?<br />I'd go live in a zoo.<br /><br />60.there's a high school that'll be on a cruise ship and you have the opportunity to go. it's your last year at school. do you go for it?<br />I'll be sure to bring the C4.<br /><br />61. who do you want to take with you to the prom?<br />my long since deceased conjoined twin.<br /><br />62. your bf/gf gets drunk at a party. in their state of drunkness, they babble about that one time they fooled around with someone else while you were together. they wake up the next morning with a slight memory that did something stupid. what do you do?<br />I bury their severed head in the woods. I make pancakes.<br /><br />63.is cyber sex considered cheating?<br />that's not what your mum said last night.<br /><br />64.how do you react to change?<br />rage blackouts.. followed by a fondness for children's television.<br /><br />65.are you happy?<br />I'm clapping my hands right now. I'm also attempting to stuff a dead pigeon into the in slot of your letterbox.<br /><br />66.favorite berries-<br />the ones that explode when you flush them.<br /><br />67.what's one facial feature you'd like to change about yourself?<br />I would like a 3rd eye that shoots laserbeams.<br /><br />68.do you take a shower after a bath?<br />no.. the leprecauns told me not to do it.<br /><br />69.what's colour's your towel?<br />the colour of happiness and rainbows.<br /><br />70.what do you think of knuckle cracking?<br />other people's knuckles? who am I to care if I killed them already and arranged them like the front cover of Saergent Peppers..<br /><br />71.what was the last thing you cried over or got teary about?<br />The Nixon Administration<br /><br />72.chalk or crayons?<br />whichever I can fit more of up my nose.<br /><br />73.how's you happiness level right now? 0 (low)- 10 (high)<br />50,000.. and one baby zebra.<br /><br />74. coffee, tea, or me? ;)<br />if I could chop you up and make coffee granules out've you.. I would.. but then you would be dead.. which is an entirely stupid thing to invite from someone off myspace<br /><br />75.wouldn't you just love to hug someone right now?<br />do I get to bring the knives?<br /><br />76.who was the last person who complimented you?<br />the taxidermist<br /><br />77.what's wrong with your school?<br />it smells like burning meat<br /><br />78.do you know what an aphrodisiac is?<br />it's all YOU baaaaaby!<br /><br />79.who do you wish you could kiss?<br />nothing but the infinite.<br /><br />80.movies at home on in a theater?<br />in my toilet.<br /><br />81.wanna live in a castle?<br />I would like to live in a bouncy castle.<br /><br />82.isn't gondola a cool word?<br />no, you are clearly fucking retarded. will you marry me?<br /><br />83.what coat do you wear in the winter?<br />the one fashioned out've lepers.<br /><br />84.(girls)what's something about guys you don't get?<br />the 3rd law of thermodynamics<br /><br />85.(guys) what's something about girls you don't get?<br />...<br /><br />86.who was better in rush hour/rush hour 2?<br />the foley artists<br /><br />87. if someone said you were hot, what would you think?<br />I would get a bucket of ice.<br /><br />88. you go to your bf/gf's house for the first time and in his/her room, and everywhere is... you. what do you think?<br />I am John Malkovich.<br /><br />89.what happens when you hear the word christmas?<br />midget porn.<br /><br />90.does being a psycho sound appealing?<br />right now filling in this survey very much in character of one, very much so.<br /><br />91.what food brings back good memories?<br />your mom.<br /><br />92.do you talk to yourself?<br />you are all figments of my imagination.<br /><br />93.sun or moon?<br />uranus.<br /><br />94.what's your opinion on love?<br />not enough bullets.<br /><br />96.would you rather go ballroom dancing or square dancing?<br />that dude in his mid 40's who died whilst challenging someone to a dance battle-off.. he is officially my hero.<br /><br />97.do you think you can afford to lose weight?<br />if I had no money, I'd have NO problem losing weight.<br /><br />98.if you could dye your hair any colour, what would you dye it?<br />transparent.<br /><br />99.what's the nicest thing anyone has ever told you?<br />I wish you were my abortion.<br /><br />100.how was the survey?<br />fucking god awful.. why else would I write such clearly deranged answers?