Sakura Vintage

this is my little bundle of joy:

 

this one is about how im incubating a person.

11 weeks.. will keep u posted with more details

except for the sounds of a meowing cat..  damn cat

1.do you shave?:
I like to shave the nipples off Rodeo Clowns, then sneak them in your breakfast cereal.. I kidnap them dontcha know?

2.what do you shave?:
everything but a luxurious handlebar moustache.. sometimes I have lurid fantasies about penguins..

3.why?:
I was a lebanese proctologist in another lifetime..

4.what colour is your razor?:
my razor neither possesses colour, nor physical form, it can split coconuts using nothing but the power of it's mind. I call it Jebus.. it tells me to kill people using only my pinky toe.. I have yet to succeed in my mission.

5.what size is your bed?:
how big is your toilet? what is the colour of allergy?

6.do you like it?:
sometimes I like to lick it..

7.you're going on a date for a walk around the lake then a coffee at a cafe. what do you wear FROM your closet?
I wear the entire closet, on my head.. oh, and did I mention I'm naked and also on fire? I can yodel in six languages underwater.. sometimes I smell like peppermint.

8.Would you go naked in a bathtub with a naked old man/woman with each of you having a bar of soap and soap each other till the bars of soap run out for a million dollars?
oooooooh baby!

9.if you woke up one morning and found out you were going to stay in the body you have now for the rest of your life, what would you think?
fuck damn am I a sexy bitch!

10. letter or e-mail?
hamsters shot out of tennis ball cannons.

11.if world war III broke out, what would you say?
does this make my arse look huge?

12.buttons or boxes?
what'ever I can use to fit your head in, and refrigerate.

13.which 5 people do you trust and are open with the most?
all 5 personalities that fight for dominance in my head.

14.what's something a guy/girl will wear that'll turn you off?
clothes

15. what's something a guy/girl will wear that'll turn you on?
a pulse

16. what do you think of soulmates?
I like to pour gasoline on them

17.florida or cali?
both would look great flattened..

18.is the world screwed?
only if I own the screwdriver.

19.is cussing a neccesity in life?
FUCK NO, I'm entirely all too insulted by this question.. and would have more to say about it if I didn't inadvertantly piss on your rose bush.. weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!

20.what's an object you can't live without?
my reverse-cycle-ginklefudgelator.. it speaks to my soul.

21.can you live without the microwave?
I'd much prefer that, than living inside of one.

22.You have this uh, erotic dream about your friend of the opp. sex. how do you act and feel around that friend the next day?
I bring a hamster, 30ft of rubber tubing, a car battery, some jumper leads, a waffle iron... wait, what was the question again?

23.would you rather be rich with 15 spoiled brats or just barely making it with a dog?
why would I ever have sex with the dog.. and even worse, badly?

24. how's your schoolwork for you right now?
I killed everyone at my old school just so I could avoid answering such a question.

25.what's something someone's done to make you hold a grudge against them?
they invaded Poland, that somewhat annoyed me.. as they beat me too it.. and even worse, they stole all the avocado, cheese dip and cheap vodka.

26.Favorite weather?
lightly swarming with killer bees.

27.what's one look trait that attracts you to a guy/girl?
a pulse.. ability to handle hamsters.

28.what's one personality trait that attracts you to a guy/girl?
being able to speak 12 languages simultaneously whilst gargling peanut butter.

29.do you know what 143 means?
no, and I shall torture you just long enough with this badly sung rendition of WHAM's "wake me up before you go go" till you explain it to me.. oh, and did I mention I'd be singing that in badly articulated Vietnamese?

30.who's phone number are you hoping to get?
Chuck Norris.

31.describe melancholy, if you don't know, then skip this question.
describe entropy.

32.describe mellow-
describe ennui.

33.do you beleive in ghosts? why or why not?
I am a figment of your imagination.. I'm also living in your fridge and pooping into the jar of mayonaise.

34.what time did you sleep last night?
sleep? SLEEP!? BWAAHAHHAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!

35.which guy/girl do you wish to be with RIGHT now?
all of them.. at once.. with a cheese grater.

36.is it right to flirt if you have a bf/gf?
FUCK NO!

37.would you rather be married in venice, italy, or honolulu, hawaii?
the dark side of the moon.. in my underpants.

38.would you rather eat sandwiches or pasta for the rest of your life?
your mom.

39.(guys) how would you feel if you gave a girl a flower?
(girls) how would you feel if you got a flower from a guy?
I would give birth to a live duck. I would call it Jeffrey.

40.do you want to drop school?
drop what at school? one of my organs? an egg? a grand piano from a 2nd story window? fuckit.. why not all the above!

41.what do you think of the word, "no pain, no gain" ?
it makes me wanna fart.

42.what do you think of the quote "eyes are the passageways into the soul" ?
I imagine an asteroid hitting your house. I also imagine a mini golf course made entirely of string cheese.

43.What do you think of sleep?
I'll do it when I'm dead.

44.if you had the chance to slow down your growth now and live to 500 years but it's like a 50 year old body by then, would you go for it?
my growth? what, you mean my john todger? what kinda freaking bizarre question is that?

45.at one point in a girl/guy friendship will one them them like each other even if it's only for a little bit. true or false?
I like mayonaise.. and chickens.. sometimes both.. in a bathtub.

46.Are you a procrastinator?
no, god says that's bad and when I do it, a kitten dies.

47.waffles or pancakes?
a piano accordian.

48.how's your cereal in your bowl?
defaecated on by midgets.

49.what's an annoying trait about you?
I refuse to fill out surveys like a normal person.

50.football or rugby?
badmington

51. hat or visor?
pithe helmet and flippers.

52.ice skating or rollerblading?
nude crochet, with your grandmother.

53.(guys) your gf has long beautiful hair which you love, she comes to school the next day with a short crop cut. what do you HONESTLY think?
(girls) your bf has hair you love. he comes to school the next day with a shiny head. what do you HONESTLY think?
see question 1.

54.pizza or burgers?
fish heads.

55.what colour is your jacket?
white.. and quite possibly of the straight variety.

56.what's something you ALWAYS have on you?
the ability to consider 99% of reality a bullshit construct of the subconscious.

57.what do you think of guys with nailpolishes?
I don't think.. they just make nice landfill.

58.do you stay in bed thinking or do you fall alseep in 5 seconds?
I plot numerous ways to destroy the world. I'm also particularly fond of bacon.

59.would you rather go to a boarding school, private school, or an all girls or guys school?
I'd go live in a zoo.

60.there's a high school that'll be on a cruise ship and you have the opportunity to go. it's your last year at school. do you go for it?
I'll be sure to bring the C4.

61. who do you want to take with you to the prom?
my long since deceased conjoined twin.

62. your bf/gf gets drunk at a party. in their state of drunkness, they babble about that one time they fooled around with someone else while you were together. they wake up the next morning with a slight memory that did something stupid. what do you do?
I bury their severed head in the woods. I make pancakes.

63.is cyber sex considered cheating?
that's not what your mum said last night.

64.how do you react to change?
rage blackouts.. followed by a fondness for children's television.

65.are you happy?
I'm clapping my hands right now. I'm also attempting to stuff a dead pigeon into the in slot of your letterbox.

66.favorite berries-
the ones that explode when you flush them.

67.what's one facial feature you'd like to change about yourself?
I would like a 3rd eye that shoots laserbeams.

68.do you take a shower after a bath?
no.. the leprecauns told me not to do it.

69.what's colour's your towel?
the colour of happiness and rainbows.

70.what do you think of knuckle cracking?
other people's knuckles? who am I to care if I killed them already and arranged them like the front cover of Saergent Peppers..

71.what was the last thing you cried over or got teary about?
The Nixon Administration

72.chalk or crayons?
whichever I can fit more of up my nose.

73.how's you happiness level right now? 0 (low)- 10 (high)
50,000.. and one baby zebra.

74. coffee, tea, or me? ;)
if I could chop you up and make coffee granules out've you.. I would.. but then you would be dead.. which is an entirely stupid thing to invite from someone off myspace

75.wouldn't you just love to hug someone right now?
do I get to bring the knives?

76.who was the last person who complimented you?
the taxidermist

77.what's wrong with your school?
it smells like burning meat

78.do you know what an aphrodisiac is?
it's all YOU baaaaaby!

79.who do you wish you could kiss?
nothing but the infinite.

80.movies at home on in a theater?
in my toilet.

81.wanna live in a castle?
I would like to live in a bouncy castle.

82.isn't gondola a cool word?
no, you are clearly fucking retarded. will you marry me?

83.what coat do you wear in the winter?
the one fashioned out've lepers.

84.(girls)what's something about guys you don't get?
the 3rd law of thermodynamics

85.(guys) what's something about girls you don't get?
...

86.who was better in rush hour/rush hour 2?
the foley artists

87. if someone said you were hot, what would you think?
I would get a bucket of ice.

88. you go to your bf/gf's house for the first time and in his/her room, and everywhere is... you. what do you think?
I am John Malkovich.

89.what happens when you hear the word christmas?
midget porn.

90.does being a psycho sound appealing?
right now filling in this survey very much in character of one, very much so.

91.what food brings back good memories?
your mom.

92.do you talk to yourself?
you are all figments of my imagination.

93.sun or moon?
uranus.

94.what's your opinion on love?
not enough bullets.

96.would you rather go ballroom dancing or square dancing?
that dude in his mid 40's who died whilst challenging someone to a dance battle-off.. he is officially my hero.

97.do you think you can afford to lose weight?
if I had no money, I'd have NO problem losing weight.

98.if you could dye your hair any colour, what would you dye it?
transparent.

99.what's the nicest thing anyone has ever told you?
I wish you were my abortion.

100.how was the survey?
fucking god awful.. why else would I write such clearly deranged answers?